Home Vida Because I’m *SUCH* A GOOD FRIEND


by Komal Patel
Friends who don't treat you well

Currently sitting at work writing this blog post with a pack of 100 calorie Emerald Natural Almonds and Walnuts wondering when is it time for lunch? A girls gotta eat and these nuts just aren’t cutting it.

Anyways, I want to discuss something different with you all today: RELATIONSHIPS.

More specific: FRIENDSHIP relationships. 

I have been thinking about this topic for a while and because of a recent situation I figured what time to bring it up than the present, ya know?  

I have always been a firm believer in you get out what you put in, but what if you are the only person putting anything in?

In most groups of girlfriends everyone is labeled out; you know, the partier, the quiet one, the smart one, the bitchy on etc. BUT, LIKE, WHY?

Why does there have to be labels on the type of person each girl is. Like, we are allowed to be more than one thing.

What we are is determined by how we feel that day. Are you in a good mood? Bad? Hungry? Tired…


The one thing that really irks me though is allowing people to get away with things or just shrugging things off like that’s just who they are when something rude is said or they did something bitchy.

Um NO.

Why do those people get a free pass to be unpleasant just because they are ALWAYS LIKE THAT?

Not cool.

I am sick and tired of putting energy into friendships that are going nowhere. A friendship, like any relationship, should be a two way street. It should be mutually beneficial to both women.

Enough is enough.

Here is what I am OVER:

The One Upper:

Me: I really wanted to buy tickets to this show, but I am low on funds right now. {SADFACE}

Her: I got tickets to the show! I am always broke, so my parents just bought it for me.

She only calls when she needs something:

(Hasn’t talked to you in weeks after you have tried to text/call/hang numerous times)

Her: my washing machine stopped working, can I come over to do my laundry and we can have some girl time?

Me: …..I guess.

She complains ALL THE TIME about stuff that isn’t important:

Me: I am super upset, I got passed up for that promotion at work.

Her: That sucks! I am SO mad. I ordered a BLT without the T and when I went back to get it fixed they told me I never asked for it without the T. WTF.

She talks about you behind your back:

I don’t even need to give you a scenario to understand this. This is just the icing on the cake because everything always comes back to you, whether it was something bad or good that was said.

Those are just a few scenarios out of a million more I am sure we have all experienced.

I am done having friends that only want to be friends with me when it is convenient for them.

Here is what I am going to do (and what you should consider doing in the future):

Start really thinking about the types of people I want in my life. The type of people I want to surround myself with; people who are positive and bring value.

Now I know this is easier said than done. It’s not easy to stand up for yourself or even end a friendship, but you can’t let yourself be a doormat at the expense of others.

As I approach 30 my friend group has started to become smaller and smaller, which is by no accident.

Not everyone has to be a forever friend, which is something I am now realizing to be true. I always wanted to be the bigger person and work things out, but why, when you are always going to be second best and put on the backburner until they are ready?

That’s not a way to live.

Find a way to say BYE to that toxic person in your life and say HELLO to new people, new ideas and positivity.

Not to be cheesy, but we only have one life. Why waste is trying to appease others or putting yourself into situations where you are not heard or seen.

YOU are not a disposable person so stop letting a “friend” treat you as if you are one.

Know your value and what you can bring to a friendship. Stop and think about the good friend you are, and no, not like Gretchen Weiners.

Take a step back and evaluate the situation. Go with your gut and I promise you will have the answers.

Are you guys into this real talk? Should I do a post on frenemies? Girl supporting girls?

Love to know your thoughts.



Sweet and Masala

You may also like


Anna Smith October 18, 2017 - 1:07 pm

I can totally relate to this post! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve definitely become much more selective with who I surround myself with. Love this topic!

xo Anna Elizabeth

Stephanie October 18, 2017 - 3:50 pm

I’m here for this post!!! This is all SO TRUE. I’d love to tell you it gets better with age, but it doesn’t. All of these same personality types become even more WILD when they start having kids. I feel like I used to have 50 friends and as I age I maybe have 2 LEGIT friends. 2. WTF? LOL Ain’t nobody got time for one-sided friendships! – Stephanie | http://www.theborrowedbabes.com

Komal Patel October 18, 2017 - 5:31 pm

You’re so right Stephanie! I have like 4….lol…but for real….WTF. It’s ok. We know what kind of friends we are 🙂

Jen Pilchak October 18, 2017 - 4:10 pm

Great post! Cut all toxic relationships when my I hit about my 30’s. Life is better without all that drama!
xo Jen from styleinshape.com

Komal Patel October 18, 2017 - 5:32 pm

One more year to go and then the AXE will come out officially lol

Amanda Sumner October 18, 2017 - 5:03 pm

Girl I turn 30 in two days and ain’t nobody got time for drama! Loving this!

Komal Patel October 18, 2017 - 5:32 pm


Ilse October 18, 2017 - 6:15 pm

Such a great post! Definitely needed to read this!

xo, Ilse

Komal Patel October 19, 2017 - 12:00 am


Antonia | The Midwest Wife October 18, 2017 - 7:54 pm

This is such a great topic. It’s really difficult to find good friends and as I’ve gotten older, and hopefully a little wiser, I’ve learned that I just don’t need that negativity in my life. Thank you for such a wonderful post!

Antonia | http://www.TheMidwestWife.com

Komal Patel October 19, 2017 - 12:01 am

Get it girl! It’s just not with it.

Courtney October 19, 2017 - 5:26 am

I love this post! So many truths about friendship that get overlooked.
Courtney Bentley || http://www.starsystemz.com

Natalie October 20, 2017 - 4:58 pm

You’re so good at speaking your feelings! I love this post…at 30 I realize that friendships are hard to come by. I still have a group of girls from high school, but I made a whole 1 friend in college (I wasn’t in a sorority…so there’s that). Anyway, love this honesty and totally understand that friendships are a relationship too!

xoxo, Nat

Komal Patel October 20, 2017 - 6:55 pm

I completely understand you! I have a hand full of friends from high school and just a few close ones from college (and i was ina sorority). We are friends <3


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.