Home VidaPregnancy The Shit They Don’t Tell You About Giving Birth

The Shit They Don’t Tell You About Giving Birth

by Komal Patel
What you dont know about giving birth

ummmmmm, how about everything!!!! Lol.

Like, where to start?

This blog post is a long time coming. Becoming a mom is a beautiful and scary thing. The thing is, I feel like people never talk about the things that actually happen while giving birth, well, because, if they did, you might not want to anymore! 

I thought I knew a lot about pregnancy before I was pregnant but turns out I really didn’t know shit and that was OK. I had a great pregnancy and went with the flow, but when they handed us Rahi and said “great. You can go home now,” I was like WHAT?!!!!!!!!! That’s it?

No classes, no showing us things? Like, how does this baby eat? Do you just attach the baby to your boob? Is it that simple? (and no. breastfeeding is not that simple…I’ll save that post for another day)

But besides having a baby and all – your body!!!! It’s deflated now. There are hemorrhoids. I can barely walk. My vagina feels TIGHT. Like, so much stuff. 

In this post I’m giving the fucking truth of what it’s like to have a baby. Your prize after reading this? YOUR BABY. But yes, you have to go through these obstacles first.


Decide on whether you are getting some pain meds or doing it naturally.

If you’re doing it naturally your delivery options change – meaning you don’t have to be constrained to giving birth on a bed. You might opt for a birthing stool or even on your hands and knees. I had no idea that you could decide! 

I thought I would superhero myself through child birth and do it naturally, however, after 26 hours and no baby, that idea went out the window.

Before I had the epidural, I tried a little laughing gas though – it didn’t help me one bit! But remember, everyone’s bodies are different, so it might work for you! 

If you do choose the epidural just know it is literally like ice running up and down your back. It’s cold and can make your body and teeth shake and chatter! Bring an extra blanket or two to keep yourself warm! 


After you give birth to your baby, you give birth to your placenta, which isn’t too terrible but then there is MORE.

There is a lot of extra shit inside of you and your uterus needs helping getting back to its normal size – SO, what do they do? They start pushing (they say its gentle – but it’s not) down on your stomach as you are trying to catch your breath from labor, all while sewing your vagina back up as your baby is trying to feed (they took a long journey to get out of you – can you blame them for being hungry?).

They keep pushing and extracting until blood and other stuff comes pouring out of you onto a huge pee pad looking thing.


Before you are transported from the birthing suite to the postpartum suite, the nurses make sure you are all dolled up in a fresh diaper, padsicle and mesh panties. You get the pleasure of having your first pee, post catheter (if you had an epidural) in front of the nurse who checks your bloody pee for clots. They set you up with a fun spray for your perineum and some witch hazel pads. From here the fun resumes as your vag swells up for the next 2 weeks. I was definitely walking funny for a few weeks.


The hospital beds are hard to get in and out of when you have a terrible tear (I had a 3rd degree tear) and are wearing so many things in your underwear. Think of the biggest, most bulkiest diaper – plus, when the padsicle begins to defrost, things are WET.

I wet my bedsheets with those things. Went right through my sweatpants. Make sure you bring a couple of pair of extra pants or robes.  


Cluster feeding. Our second night in the hospital Rahi began to cluster feed. He was crying and crying and we had no idea why. We would change his diaper, try to soothe him, and the only thing that worked was the tit – except that he wanted it almost every 20-45 minutes. I had no idea what was going on and why he was doing it! The nurse came in and we asked her what was wrong with him. “Sounds like he’s cluster feeding” she said.

Um, k. What’s that??  Cluster feeding occurs when your baby is going through a growth spurt and is basically demanding more milk. The more your baby feeds, it sends signals to your brain to produce more milk. WHICH, btw – most mama’s milk doesn’t come in until day 3 or 4, so be prepared for breast engorgement which can also be quite painful.


You’ll be left on your own a lot…. like, pretty much the whole time. Yes, the nurse are in and out, checking vitals and shit. But for the most part its just you and your significant other. Thank god for my doula. She pretty much anticipated everything that was going on and filled us in step by step as it was happening. The doctors didn’t really show up until the grand finale – you know, giving birth (they were in and out for a few minutes here and there).


Every mama’s story is totally different! You might experience everything on this list and then some. Or, none of these will happen at all! No matter how much *shit* you go through when its all said and done you will have your precious babe in your arms and nothing else will matter. You will instantly forget all the pain you went through while giving birth when they put that little nugget on your chest and in about 6 months, you’ll probably want to go through it all again. WELL, maybe. Hehe.

Lots of love.



Sweet and Masala

You may also like

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.