Alright – I am going to give you guys the TRUTH about being pregnant.
There is A LOT of shit they don’t tell you, because if they did, you would NEVER, want to become pregnant.
The sore boobs, back pain, heartburn, feet getting bigger, vaginal discharge (although, I didn’t know how much and like OH SO OFTEN)….I knew about.
But like damn! Can a girl catch a break. Anything and everything will happen to you while you are pregnant.
If the weight gain and the whole actually giving birth thing isn’t bad enough, we have to deal with a whole bunch more stuff.
First, let me start with the whole weight gain mind fuck thing.
Weight Gain Mind FUCK:
You will 100% put on weight when you are pregnant. That is expected and normal. You’re growing a GD human after all!
The thing they don’t tell you is what a mind fuck it is.
It’s a fucking trip to look into the mirror each day and see yourself just growing…. Getting bigger and bigger.
The fact that there is a baby inside of you doesn’t change the fact that when I look into the mirror each day all I see is a WHALE.
I just have to keep reminding myself its normal, because it is, and you’re still beautiful and the process is actually beautiful (even though its actually kind of gross haha).
I think in our society women are mentally burdened with the obsession to look a certain way. So when you’ve been conditioned your whole life to “think small,” this goes against it.
I’ve never really had weight “issues,” but the insecurities have been there; the need in my head to have a nice flat stomach and toned arms and legs. At the end of the day whether you are pregnant or not, all shapes and sizes are beautiful. It’s just, sometimes, especially when it comes to your own body, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
Like, WTF is this all about?
I took a nap the other day and woke up to a huge drool puddle all over my Leachco pillow.
Why does being pregnant turn you into a drool monster?!
Apparently, hormonal changes can be thanked for this.
Nerves that control salivation are more stimulated during pregnancy, hence you’ve def got a buildup.
Be prepared for this. Hopefully you can save yourself from rolling your face into it!
I have constantly had a stuffy nose my ENTIRE pregnancy. Its like the booger that won’t go away.
Increased blood (your blood volume will increase up to 4xs) flow into the nasal passage will enlarge your nasal veins which contribute to your stuffiness.
+ if you have allergies, you’re pretty much screwed.
A humidifier can help break up the congestion and so can a good blowing technique (and no, not talking about your S/O’s penis!).
Make sure when you are blowing your nose you are being gentle! You don’t want that popping in your ears. If you get that you’re blowing too hard.
Maybe I was naive to this one…like, I had no idea this was a thing.
Again. Thanks hormones. They really can be blamed for everything.
When you’re pregnant, you whole body “relaxes.” Everything get nice and loose to prepare for baby’s arrival.
This also includes your intestines relaxing.
When your intestines move slow, your digestion is slow. Which leads to a backup, aka. constipation.
Hydration and fiber are key to helping this.
My constipation went away after the first trimester.
I have also heard that taking magnesium can help with this too – but check with your doctor before you take ANYTHING.
Oral health. Another thing I was totally oblivious too.
My gums started bleeding during the middle of my first trimester and have gone on and off bleeding ever since then.
Having good oral hygiene and checkups are super helpful.
I brush my teeth twice a day, clean my tongue, use mouthwash – although, I’m not going to lie…I’m not the best with flossing.
This is like the millionth time with the whole “hormones” thing – but hormone changes can make your teeth more vulnerable to plaque buildup, which leads to your gums getting inflamed and bleed.
Take care of those teeth girl!
Ok – lastly, the KILLER.
Yes. There are smells, and they come from allllll different parts of your body.
Catch my drift?
Gas? Yes. It’s GOING to happen.
The other day Justin and I were sitting there and I couldn’t even pretend to like hold it in or stop it. It was long and loud and slow.
We both just started laughing.
WE ARE MARRIED NOW AND I AM HAVING YOUR CHILD.
The days of hiding this shit is OVER.
Other smells? Sweat…def sweat more now than before. That smell isn’t too bad and is manageable with deodorant.
The smell that like GET’S ME.
The vag, vajayjay, vagina.
Freaking again!! The excess blood to the vaginal area causes the PH down there to change.
(AVOID BRAZILIAN WAX IF YOU CAN. SO freaking painful…although, I am just going to keep going back and enduring the pain)
I haven’t experienced foul/fish smelling…(I’ve read about it online), but I can smell a change, and the smell is like THERE. I don’t need to shove my face in my vagina to smell, because its like, lingering.
IDK. Maybe I am just super hyperaware of my own body in that way, because J says he can’t smell anything.
He’s probably being nice. Womp.
Anyway. that’s a list of my VERY first world problems while pregnant.
Despite all the woes of pregnancy, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. & I truly know how blessed and lucky I am to go through all of this.
Love you guys!
Hahahahah. Love you!
I can relate with the weight gain. My OBGYN said that my weight gain for the whole pregnancy should be around 24 pounds. I think I have achieved that in my first trimester. I got huge! Thankfully, with exercise, diet, and lack of sleep, I dropped those pounds quickly post partum.
Sacrifice of a mother to get pregnant and give birth to children who are healthy, smart and beautiful or handsome.
What i hate of being pregnant is that my nose is getting bigger and my underarm is getting darker. But despite of this, i am still grateful that my baby is healthy.
I have two children and during the firsts one let just say that the hormones were not so bad..however, I thought she would kill me while she was pregnant with a second one…now we keep laughing about that…i was a birth partner and all that I can say…respect
My friend had terrible problems with constipation. She tells some funny stories about it now. Hopefully you’ll be able to joke about the difficulties of pregnancy in the future.
Thank you for the list! I can’t relate yet, I’m not sure if I’ll ever either. But it’s good to know what lies ahead when it does come for me.
Hven’t been there or done that so I can’t relate but I think I’m aware of all of these except bleeding gums. Also, I think it varies. Some people don’t even experience anything at all– heck, some people don’t even know they are pregnant till they are in labour. Different strokes for different folks.
Oh my gosh, see all the fun I’m not missing out on by not having kids! Lol! Seriously thanks for the laugh, I love the way you write, so relatable!