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My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broken Down

by Komal Patel
My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down


This is going to be a long one.

As promised on my last wedding post, here, I am finally breaking down the ins and outs of Gujarati wedding ceremony.

Justin and I are so excited to get married at the end of the year and we are so lucky and thankful that we get to perform such a beautiful ceremony in front of our family, friends and the gods!

Indian culture is filled with so many traditions and I love knowing why we do the things we do. So buckle in as I break down OUR ceremony.

A Hindu wedding ceremony is comprised of a series of customs and rituals whereby two souls come together in spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bond. The rituals of the ceremony are based on the hymns contained in the Vedas, sacred Hindu scriptures, which are over 5,000 years old.  The Vedic wedding ceremony is meant to unite two people so firmly that after marriage they become one spirit.

The ceremony is represented by the five elements of Hinduism (fire, earth, water, air and space), which play an integral role in the ceremony. The fire is a divine and impartial witness to the union and brings warmth throughout the couple’s life.

The ceremony takes plus under a canopy known as a mandap, which is comprised of 4 pillars that represent mine and Justin’s parents.

So, let’s get into it! 

Baraat: Groom’s Procession

Justin, his family and friends parade in celebration to the wedding ceremony. Traditionally this would have been the arrival of the groom’s party to the bride’s home.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Milni: Welcoming the Groom

My family receives Justin and his family upon their arrival to the ceremony.My mom performs welcome rituals and places a tilak (red dot) on Justin’s forehead to give her blessings. Justin is then asked to step on an earthen pot symbolizing his willingness to marry me and the determination to come through any hurdles in his path.

Shri Ganesh Pooja:  Invocation of the Lord

Prayers are offered to Lord Ganesh whose blessings will remove any obstacles from the ceremony and from the couples new life together, providing them prosperity and guidance.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Svar Raja Pooja:  The Grooms Reception

Justin’s aunt and uncle will accompany him to the mandap, where my mom receives him with an offering of honey, curd and butter signifying the sweetness of the marriage sacrament and the sweetness of life. The priest seeks confirmation from him that he is ready, willing and wanting to make the commitment of marriage. In his anticipation for me to arrive, his groomsmen raise an antarpat (curtain) in front of him symbolizing traditional barriers and the physical world that is currently separating them.

Kanya Aagman: The Arrival of the Bride

I am escorted to the mandap by my maternal uncles. Mangalshtak (sacred hymn) is recited as I am seated in the mandap.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Jai Mala: Exchange of Garlands

The antarpat (curtain) is removed and we see each other for the first time and exchange garlands to signify their acceptance of each other as life partners.

Kanya Daan: Giving Away of the Bride

My parents give me, their daughter (kanya), who is their most precious gift (daan) on earth, to Justin and ask him to love and respect me as his life partner. Justin will accept by placing his hand over mine and my dad will put his hands on top of theirs and then my mom will pour water over all of our hands to signify that they are transferring their greatest wealth, me, to Justin.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Hasta Melap: Joining of the Hands

The priest places paan, rice, flower, grass, beetle nut and a Goddess Laxmi silver coin in my right hand. My hand is then placed in Justin’s right hand while chanting Vedic mantras.


A hand-woven cotton thread is placed around mine and Justin’s neck, uniting them with a continuous cord that symbolizes our love and unity.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Granthi Bandhan: Tying the knot

The Priest will tie Justin’s scarf and my sari together with a sacred knot. The mantras are recited informing us that we are now tied together in body, mind and spirit.

Agni Pooja: Lighting of the Sacred Fire

 The sacred flame (Agni) is lit to symbolize purity and to act as a witness to the marriage.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Mangal Phera: Circling the Holy Fire

We put parched rice that is handed to us by my  brother into the fire while the priest recites hymns. We circle the holy fire 4 times. The first 3 times led by Justin, then during the 4th circle by me. During each circle a rock is touched and crossed over with the right toe of the one that is following. Each completed circle signifies one of the four essential aspects of life according to the Vedic philosophy – Dharma (religion), Arth (wealth and prosperity), Kam (family love) and Moksha (salvation).

Sapta Padi: Seven Steps & Wedding Vows

We take seven steps which represent the beginning of our journey through life together as a couple. With each step we pledge and take the wedding vows as follows:

Step 1 – We will provide sustenance for each other

Step 2 – We will provide strength and energy to each other

Step 3 – We will support each other so each will be successful and prosperous

Step 4 – We will travel the journey of life with love, trust and harmony

Step 5 – We will keep our family happy, healthy and virtuous

Step 6 – We will share equally in each other’s joy and sorrows

Step 7 – We will share eternal love and friendship

Mangal Sutra and Sindoor Daan: Exchange of Rings

Justin places a necklace made of gold and black beads around my neck. Tradition dictates that the necklace helps ward off evil and signifies a married woman. Justin will then apply the red Sindoor (red dot) to my forehead. Both are traditional symbols of a Hindu married woman. At the time they will also exchange rings.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs


Akhand Saubhagyavati: Advice from Married Women

Married women from my  family will whisper good wishes in my ear and bless her with an unbroken wedded life. “Akhand Saubhagyavati” means “Good luck, prosperity, and a long, happy life.”

Kansaar Bhajan: Offering of Sweets

We feed each other sweets signifying our first meal together as husband and wife and that they will share all things in life.

Aashirward: Blessings

The Priest declares us husband and wife and blesses them. We then seeks blessings from family and friends as the ceremony conclude.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding Broke down

Artwork by Natasha Bhagwanani Bright & Blue Designs

Vidaai: Farewell

The Vidaai is a touching and emotional farewell to me by my family and friends as I begin my new life with Justin and his family.  I throw handfuls of rice over my head, signifying that I am  returning all that my parents have given me over the years, praying that the house of my childhood remains prosperous and happy.

We will step into a decorated vehicle and will commence their final farewell. My sisters and female friends will playfully stand in front of the car preventing us from leaving. The groomsmen and male relatives then remove the girls in order to help their “brother” take his bride away, while Justin offers the ladies compensation for taking me away.

Fishing the Ring:

Traditionally done at the home of the my  in-laws, this game determines who will rule the roost in the home front.  A ring is placed in a pot filled with rose petals and milk. We are asked to fish for the ring.  The person who finds the ring first wins and becomes head of the house!      

& finalllllyyyyyyyyyy IT’S DONE!

Take a deep breath and let alllll that info sink in.

There’s a lot, I know. But isn’t beautiful?

What do you think about the ceremony and traditions? Does any of it align with what your culture does?



Sweet and Masala


A special thank  you to Natasha Bhagwanani for the beautiful artwork. 

To see more of Natasha’s portfolio please visit http://www.brightandbluedesigns.com/

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Samantha Donnelly October 4, 2019 - 4:48 pm

I would love to go to an Indian wedding, we were invited to one once but unfortunately could not go. They are just so spectacular and vibrant

Joan October 4, 2019 - 7:03 pm

I have heard about Indian weddings and I love how you take everything into detail and have so many steps to go through really shows how bonded you end up being with your partner. I need to be invited to one.

Kemi October 5, 2019 - 12:27 am

I love Indian culture and the weddings are so elaborate and colourful too…just like those of African cultures. The traditions and rites take days and are so tiring lol but very interesting to observe.

F-P October 5, 2019 - 7:11 am

Those are really a lot of steps. But then again, you only do it once and it sounds like fun.
Cool drawings.

Are you stuck together for the ceremony after tying the knot?

Dalene Ekirapa October 5, 2019 - 8:14 pm

I’ve had the pleasure of attending an Indian wedding and oh my! It was perfect! With all the details in place and followed traditions, I find it even more special. All the best to you and Justin…I hope you share the wedding pictures with us!

Marjie Mare October 6, 2019 - 1:53 am

I love the beautiful outfits that Indians wear for their weddings. Everything is so pretty and colorful. I hope I can see your pictures in another post.

Kristina October 6, 2019 - 6:11 am

How exciting. I love indian events. Its all so colourful and lively and the food is always so delicious!!!.

Clarice October 6, 2019 - 6:29 am

Congratulations! I am so excited for you. I have never been to an Indian wedding so I enjoyed reading your post. I have learned something new today. I find your traditions really exciting.

Lex October 6, 2019 - 9:40 am

Blessings… I watch alot of Indian series and i love how the weddings are nice and colourful. So nice we tend to imagine ourselves at the venue for the weddings… This is just so beautiful


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