Vitiligo Diaries:
Entry 2:
Recently I have begun to think about what I want in life. What I want out of life. It is a lingering question that I haven’t pin pointed onto anything specific, besides, you know, the obvious, HAPPINESS.
What is Happiness? Is it mental, emotional, materialistic, psychological? Everyone’s definition is different. There are numerous views on what causes happiness and what correlates with it, but we are yet to find that magic elixir, that something that will make it last forever.
My recent journey to happiness has started with my health. I have made a promise to myself to stay healthy, after all, my body is my temple and if I don’t treat it with respect and care, who will?
Every morning I have been booting up at 6:30am to get my work out on before work. I have been following that with a health breakfast, usually a Shakeology shake, and then a mantra to begin a positive day.
When I was a child I was oozing optimism and positivism. The older I got the more the little things began to bother me and build up. The negativity monster had hit. Before I met my boyfriend (who is a sunshine ray of positivism) I was walking a thin line of what I thought was happiness, and being a raging bitch. My negative actions of looking at the glass half empty, harboring feelings, and overall just being selfish caught up to me. As the new year arrived I began to think, I need to change. Read closely, I said I NEED to change…not for anyone else, but for me. How does that saying go, ‘if it’s not broke, don’t fix it’…..well, things were definitely broken for me, and something needed to change.
Once I decided that my health was a priority, I knew the next thing I needed to work on was my mind. All of us have different ways of coping with things. For me, I felt that there was a lot of anger inside of me (anger I didn’t even know why I had), anger that I was deflecting on my boyfriend, family and friends. Most of the time I didn’t even know I was angry, but my tone and actions were not reflective of a happy person. This is my daily fight, to become more aware of myself and my actions in the moment. This is definitely easier said than done, but I am actively working towards being present, being in the now, mindful and respectful of others around me.
This is a lifetime goal. This is not something that you can obtain overnight, and knowing that has put my mind at ease. Some days are better than others, but being aware and moving forward is always a step in the right direction.
For me, happiness derives from a happy, positive mind and body. It comes from delectable food, satisfying music, and the company of the people I love the most. My journey is slow and long, but steady. It has started with the baby step of getting my butt up every morning to work out. It has only been a week and I can feel the changes, not just in my body, but my mind.
It is OK to be a little selfish sometimes, especially when you are trying to reach a level of contentedness within yourself. It’s hard to be happy with someone, or something, if you aren’t happy with yourself. My challenge to you: find out what is going to make YOU happy. It can be something as small as starting to write in your journal every day, taking your dog for a walk, cooking, anything! Take that “thing” and run with it.
What small steps will you take today?
xxx 
